To a Faithfully Departed
by immagina
Summary: This is a short fic about Miaka's feelings towards Nuriko's death. From Miaka's POV. Spoilers for Ep. 33! onegai, r&r minna!


Disclaimers: I do not own any of these magnificent characters, Watase Yuu does, so please don't sue me…..onegai…=D   
  
Author's notes:: This is first fic…so please bear with me…I'm kinda nervous about it….heheh..well, what can ya expect from a 14 yr. Old fan!?!??! =^_^=;;  
  
Just hope that you'll enjoy the fic, minna-san!! This is from Suzako no Miko, Miaka's POV.::  
  
Warning: Spoilers for episode 33!!! ::sniff…he died!! Darn…can't believe it…that fucking bastard Ashitare….::  
  
---------------------~~o0O@O0o~~------------------------  
  
To a faithfully departed:  
  
  
Neither one of us may truly know how to escape this vexation of life-but you. Only you.   
  
Ever since you were a child, you carried a huge burden which has eaten your whole being, conquered your entire identity as who you really are-just to let the spirit of your beloved sister Kourin live. Pretending is one of your mastered masquerade ever since.  
  
Even though that strange attitude of yours gets to my nerves at times, I must admit, I kind of envy you. You can wear masks full of colors which marked no pain nor betrayal from your past. Your mind was truly unrecognizable. And we, mere mortals are so gullible.  
  
Every time you wore that mask, you seem so splendid, omnipotent, sufficient, free of tribulations and melancholy voice of blatant destiny. Destiny. Is that how's it called? Is that how it should end? Be lingered at the chambers of fatal destiny? I CERTAINLY DISAGREE. Destiny should lead us to a jovial place where we can be secured-and meet someone who can love us, we can love…and someone who can believe in us. If you were here right now, I know you will kill me, for as far I can remember, you are the greatest dealer of this destiny, no matter how   
light or shifty it can be.   
  
You've gone through many challenges which left a sign of some unique, yet obscure epitaph of an unfinished reverie.   
  
During that times, you were able to hide your tears through the sparkle of your crystal lavender eyes. You were able to hide problems through a breathtaking smile. You were able to hide weakness by the means of using your extraordinary strength. You were able to mask heartaches by saying such soothing and comforting words. You were able to hide fear by being fierce and telling" it's gonna be fine..". Most of all, you were able to hide sadness by your sweet laughter-the laughter which stayed, here, deep in our hearts.   
  
You may be oblivious at times, but I can see how much pain you carry. How much tears unwept you hide. Why? Why didn't you tell us? How could you?! Friends must have a bond of eternal trust between each other. Still, it was not enough. You kept your feelings hindered…those hurting feelings which we know you are somehow, trying to unravel.  
  
How can we even compensate and even maybe reverberate some echoes of your past if you don't want to tell us?   
You always thought of others' happiness and contentment first before yourself. For that, your beauty was almost forgotten, the beauty that must've shone through your dark times. Your selflessness made you blind even to realize what of horizons of death may be.  
  
It's so ironic, isn't it? So hard to understand and decipher….maybe you know how to HANDLE destiny…but don't know how it WORKS.   
  
As I look back, I can still clearly recall the times we've been together. How memorable…how remarkable. If you were only here right now…but you're not. I can still remember that very night before you die, when you confessed your love for me through Tamahome when you thought I was not listening. You said you love me too much to interfere with the relationship. You were contented seeing us together, happy…even if you wished that it was you who's in my arms.  
  
I can still clearly remember that awful, heart-wrenching scene...I can still feel your ragged breathing as you struggled through life...i can still see your eyes, that was once full of joy and serenity, which was, then, replaced by a great pain and tiredness..I .can still hear your weak, yet firm voice echoing in every part of my mind and heart..." you've got something special in you so...so don't lose no matter what..". After those words...those last words...i heard you sigh for the last time...not a sad, but happy and contented one..and finally, closed your crystal lavender eyes which held so many mysteries...forever.   
  
You fulfilled your destiny...i should be glad to what you'd done, right? You're the very first TRUE seishi to fulfill the destiny...and yet...  
  
If only I have the time to heal...heal this deep wound inside...If only I have your inner strength to face the world during tough times like this...  
  
For you, Nuriko, I'll NEVER give up…and NEVER lose. I'll get the shinzahou…for you. I promise. That's the only thing I can do to repay your bravery, your determination, your courage...everything...and most especially, your undying love.  
  
Now, you're as beautiful as always…no crimson color of blood in your face anymore and your clothes are neat as the rays of sun crested above your peaceful, sleeping form. Life is so short for you…but you've touched many hearts. We're going to be lonely for sure, but we believe that this world will never be a terrible place because of the love you've shared even if they did not return it.  
  
I have your bracelets now with me…and your hair was buried along with your body. I'm glad to have known you….I'm proud of you.  
  
As we face this whole new journey, I want to let you know, wherever you are right now…thank you…for everything…..and Nuriko….if you can hear this…let me say this to you once and for all………  
  
"Ai shiteru.."  
  
  
  
----~o@o~----  
  
thanks for reading!!!! Comments will be freely accepted…mail me at chezzka_nevermind@usa.net sayonara!!!  
  
P.S.:: gomen nasai minna for the wrong grammars...this is my first fic on fushigi yuugi and my first time to write in first person POV, reminiscing past events...so...its kinda new for me..*nervous laugh* (well, i used to write for yuu yuu hakusho and its usually written in third person POV...demo, its a different story though..^_^;; *who gives a damn anyway?!*) ja ne!!   
  
oh, Pls review!!!!   
  
  
  
  
  
  



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